What You Need to Know When Searching for a Therapist as a Sensitive Person

Looking for a therapist can feel so arduous. You might feel wracked by indecision or not even know where to begin. Here are a few things to consider as a sensitive therapy seeker to make it a little smoother.

How informed are they about highly sensitives and/or empaths?

The initial short phone consultation that many therapists offer for free can be a really good way to ask about their familiarity with sensitivity, get a sense of their vibe and if it might be a good fit to work together.  It’s not intrusive to ask if they have worked with clients before who are highly sensitive or empathic, how familiar they are with the literature on the trait of high sensitivity and what they incorporate differently when working with sensitive folx. You are interviewing them to see if you click- and therapists expect a few questions about what it’s like to work with them.

It’s an individual choice what to do with the information they give you. It may feel enough if they are open to educating themselves a bit on high sensitivity or just accept that this is true for you. Conversely, especially if you are exploring your possible high sensitivity for the first time, you may find that you would prefer a therapist with experience in working with people who have high sensitivity, or even a therapist that identifies as highly sensitive and/or empathic. (Yes- it’s okay to ask a therapist if they identify as highly sensitive! Really.) Being deeply seen and understood is incredibly validating for any sensitive person, but especially for those new on the journey as an HSP (highly sensitive person).

What next? 

A therapist who is aware of sensitives’ need to have more information will often demonstrate this by making next steps clear if you decide to schedule with them. They will often give you space to step back and make a decision on your own after the consult call if you need. It can feel overwhelming for sensitives to make a decision in the moment with someone else on the phone- often we need solitude for our thoughts to settle first. (Fair warning- just be aware that the availability they may have had for sessions during the consult call may no longer be available later if you need significant time to make a decision.)

Moving forward

The first appointment can give you more insight into their therapeutic style and what it feels like to work with them. It’s natural to feel awkward, unsure and anxious with a new therapist, but if you feel like they aren’t matching up with what you need, it is 100% ok to ask them for a referral to other providers at any point in working together. In general, the most important thing is good rapport in a therapy relationship. If it feels hard to imagine feeling safe with a therapist at some point in the future, it might not be a good fit.

Do they give you time to think before they add their thoughts, or do you feel rushed or overpowered by them? Sensitive people need more time to think and process than most. An intuitive therapist will sense this and give you space, without abandoning you to silence for the rest of the session.

Lastly, are they willing to address the dynamic between the two of you? Do they acknowledge that they may get it wrong sometimes, either in so many words or by giving you the sense that they are open to feedback? Highly sensitive people and empaths are much more attuned to subtle verbal and nonverbal cues than non-sensitives. This can be helpful (who am I kidding, it’s basically a superpower), but can also lead to second-guessing someone’s intentions or true meaning. A lot. It’s important to build a sense of safety that it’s okay to check with your therapist about these things. An effective therapist will not be offended to explore with you what might be going on between you in the session.

I hope this post empowers you with some new ideas as a therapy seeker. You deserve to feel seen, have your sensitivity honored, and be recognized for the unique gifts that you bring to the world.