Why You Need a Minimal Wardrobe (Even if You’re a Maximalist)
A minimal wardrobe is a life saver for highly sensitives and empaths. Sensitive to sensory stimulation, the process of buying, keeping, and wearing clothes can be more stressful than might seem at first glance.
So what’s a highly sensitive person to do?
Getting clear on what you truly like, feels comfortable, and what you need can reduce the sense of overwhelm. The term “minimal” as used here is not a prescriptive, but varies based on what you find it to be. For some, it might be a strict 36-item capsule wardrobe. For others, it’s an attitude. Here’s some things I have learned through trial and error as a maximalist-at-heart, style-loving HSP. Full disclosure, I’m still in the process of taking all my own advice (looking at you, Clothes Chair which has downgraded to Clothes Bench) because yes, I’m a therapist, but first I’m human.
The Problem of Too Many Choices
Shopping can be incredibly overstimulating for sensitives. When shopping in-person, there is a lot of sensory input to process. The more finely-tuned nervous systems of sensitive people means that they’re more deeply processing all the sights, sounds, sensations around them- which is more work and thus more tiring. With online shopping, there are other challenges, mainly endless choices and that pesky blue light emitting from the screen, which can make it hard to wind down at night. Those with the innate trait of high sensitivity often want to compare and scroll through reviews to make sure they are getting the best of what they’re looking for. This can be a major time-suck and create information overload.
There’s a couple unique issues that sensitive people need to consider about their wardrobes. Being overstimulated is a major one, and another is related to managing other’s perceptions of themselves. First, overstimulation.
The Overwhelm is Real
Think of all the choices we make in a day. What to eat for breakfast, what to feed the kids for breakfast, what to wear, what tasks to do first at work, what chores to do when, what emails to respond to, who to spend time with… etc. Highly sensitives can get overloaded very quickly due to the depth of processing and overthinking that often accompanies making so many choices. As I write this, many of us have been in a holding pattern for the last 9 months due to COVID-19. The daily morning struggle of what to wear simply may not be as stressful right now with many of us spending much more time at home. (Work mullet, anyone?) It took the March stay-at-home order in my home state of Michigan for me to realize just how much energy outfit coordination took each morning. The absence of dressing-related anxiety was unexpected. And in that new void, I began to see how my current wardrobe was not serving my needs as a sensitive person. When did my sweaters get so scratchy? How did I not notice how many of my work shirts were from the long-ago era when I was a young whippersnapper in grad school buying my first “professional clothes”?
Wanting to Blend In
Highly sensitive people are often also those most attuned to what others expect from them. They may be afraid to disappoint others, and if they’re also empaths and feel other’s emotions, it might be particularly hard to parse out what concessions they have made, feeling it’s palatable to others, vs. what they truly like. There are ways HSPs may dress to camouflage, avoiding attention that may feel overwhelming. It’s easy to dress to blend into the crowd instead of for self-expression, fun or pleasure. Alternatively, depending on age and/or social circle, dressing to blend in can actually look really attention-getting. If a highly sensitive is in college, they may feel they need to fulfill an expectation of being a party person, signaling outwardly a confidence or bravado they do not feel inside.
Assessing if Your Wardrobe Meets the Needs of High Sensitivity
So let’s get into it. Here are some practical, actionable steps for evaluating if your wardrobe meets the needs of most sensitive folx and what you can do to minimize overwhelm when getting dressed. If I help one person avoid future scenes where they’re getting ready for an event, surrounded by a heap of clothes, none quite right, mounting anxiety getting worse and worse to the point where they consider calling it off all together, this blog post is well worth it IMO.
Taking An Inventory
There’s two parts to this stage, the very practical part of taking action to reduce and/or organize your closet space and the more free-flowing process of figuring out what you find overstimulating and just not “you” anymore.
First, take a little time to notice what you reach for the most and why. Perhaps this is over the course of a week as you note what you gravitate to each day, or you might feel drawn to set aside some time to look at your clothes all at once. Whatever way you choose, there are a few different things to look for.
Do you feel drawn to certain colors? If you’re not sure, take a look around your home or check out your Pinterest feed. This shows up for us in more ways than just fashion. You might have an awesome vintage colored glass goblet collection or mood board that gives you good insight into this. What colors energize and calm you? Which ones stress you out or make you feel blah? (Hint: maybe steer away from those.) Color has extremely powerful psychological effects which is backed up by science. Use this to your advantage. You can even consider how you want to feel any given day and dress accordingly. If you want to feel powerful, research says, wear red. Blue is widely considered the most calming color and many people consider orange and yellow to be energizing and upbeat. So if you have a presentation you’re nervous about, think how you want to feel. Would it feel better for you to have a powerful color on like red, or would you prefer to tap into the soothing, healing properties of green?
What just makes you feel good to wear and why? Is it the fabric? Sensitives often like to be cozy in cold climates with enveloping, soft pieces and enjoy an airy, breathable outfit in hot climates. I’m really oversimplifying here but the upshot is that comfort is key or else we get grumpy. Very grumpy. Think of it this way. When your nervous system is more finely calibrated than 80% of the population, you’re aware of chafing, wedgie-creating jeans ALL. DAY. It’s like having an iPhone app open in the background sucking data until you realize that your battery is toast. It’s draining. Other things to consider while evaluating what pieces feel good to wear are how they fit and if you feel confident and like “you” while wearing it. The goal here is to minimize draining distractions throughout the day caused by continual awareness that you are either physically or emotionally uncomfortable in what you’re wearing.
Let’s talk about patterns. Notice if you tend to have mostly solid colors in your wardrobe or if there’s some pattern. Check in with your body when looking at the patterns to evaluate how they make you feel. Some people will feel energized by an outsize, psychedelic Pucci print, while others will be too overstimulated. Patterns can as be as powerful as color. Notice if you are attracted to or repelled by anything in particular- a small-scale print, maybe floral? Polka dots? Geometric?
I’ll give you some ideas to knock around for the practical bit of reducing and organizing. Find what resonates with you most. The Marie Kondo method might be just the ticket for acknowledging the emotional ties and sentimentality that make it hard to say goodbye to clothes that have been hanging around in the closet forever. Alternatively, you might find that the method of turning all your hangers backwards and then flipping them when you’ve worn an item (thus clarifying what you don’t wear in a certain period of time) works for you. Maybe you’d like to get more intuitive and follow your gut on what to keep and what to donate or pass on to a friend. Some might want to just organize differently by storing out-of-season clothes out of sight. Here in Michigan, we need polar vortex-ready clothes as well as something suitable for 100 F days, so under-bed storage is key. Whatever you choose, the goal here is to reduce visual clutter. Sensitives read this as visual noise and it contributes to overstimulation.
In taking an inventory of what you like, what makes you feel confident and what physically feels comfortable, you may have come to the conclusion that you need some new clothes. Here are some ideas to consider. A true capsule wardrobe involves items that can easily go together, colors that coordinate with each other and are easily layered (great for being sensitive to temperature shifts through the day). If you need ideas on capsule wardrobes in general, there are some great Googleable resources.
Reducing Overstimulation with a Subscription Service
Many sensitive people do well with subscription services where a stylist curates a box of options for you based on your preferences, you try on at home and return what you don’t want. This can entirely eliminate the potential overwhelm of hopping on one foot in a dressing room, surrounded by a mounting Everest of clothes and matching sense of panic. With some subscription services, you can even specify what fabrics, colors, shapes or prints you want to avoid.
Aligning Your New Pared-Down Wardrobe with Your Values
Now that you’ve mindfully considered what items make you feel best, it’s time to consider how to integrate this very public-facing part of yourself with your inner values. Highly sensitives and empaths have deep empathy and a keen sense of justice for other people, animals, and often the environment. It can be very painful to learn how the fashion industry has often participated in upholding sweatshops, human trafficking, racism and animal cruelty. Guess what? It’s your wardrobe and you get to align it with your deeply-held values. Perhaps it’s really important to you that you prioritize organic, fair trade items or Black-owned businesses.
Vegan or second-hand only? You get to choose. Release any pressure to make sweeping changes all at once. Sustainable fashion can involve the practice of moving more slowly and mindfully as you build a wardrobe. This also protects against being overwhelmed by making too many decisions at once.
Final Thoughts
This is not about getting rid of most of your clothes. It’s about taking your power back, about mindfully making your wardrobe work for your sensitivity instead of hamstringing you. If that means you get rid of most of your clothes, great! If it means you keep most or all of your clothes, great! The important part is that you’re aware of how deeply clothing choices can affect highly sensitive people on a neurological level. By streamlining time spent picking out an outfit, by reducing the inherent annoyances of being overstimulated so soon in the day, you’re freeing up energy and perhaps time to put to other pursuits.
